: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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