I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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