She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
