Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
