the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
