Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
