My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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