why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
