if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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