yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
