i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone came in the potted fern
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
