He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
