I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
