It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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