I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
