He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
