Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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