Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
