i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
But break dance skills will only take you so far
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
