i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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