so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
