remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
