so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
