Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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