Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
