Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
