her vagine was all disorganized.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
