The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
