I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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