I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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