Can i not drive my cunt home
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize