ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Someone came in the potted fern
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
