she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
