Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
