if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
