eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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