did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
