I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
