our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
