I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize