Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize