I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
