Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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