No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
