i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
