That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need to stop coming to work sober
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
