it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
