she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bring money and cleavage
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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