i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
