oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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