belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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