Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
