Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
