I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
