I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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