Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
