happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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