FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
